No.10’s No-Deal Cabinet
- Liam John
- Aug 1, 2019
- 4 min read
Updated: Nov 28, 2019
Boris Johnson’s new cabinet is by far the youngest and most radical of recent-memory, his hostile takeover of No.10 has given us many shock appointments replacing familiar faces.
Michael Gove has been nudged from his role as environment secretary and will be replaced by Theresa Villiers. Villiers was David Cameron’s Secretary of State for Nothern Ireland until her resignation in 2016.
The world is becoming increasingly restless over Climate Change, it’s one of the issues that unite old and young voters in this country. People want change now.
So, what criteria must you meet to earn such a vital role in the Johnson administration?
In 2015 our new Environment Secretary voted down a bill to set a target for the amount emissions produced in the U.K. and then later that year, voted down a bill that would compel fracking companies to obtain an environmental permit to carry out potentially damaging activities.
Not exactly the smiling face of a greener Britain, Villiers is more likely to have earned her latest promotion through loyalty to the Vote Leave cause.
Much like Our new Home Secretary, Britain’s former International Development Secretary Priti Patel.
You may remember Patel. She was forced to resign just under two years ago after taking her role in May’s cabinet, when it was revealed that she had held secret meetings with Israeli officials, and even meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to discuss providing British aid to the Israeli army.
She was accused of running her own foreign policy on behalf of Britain, on the taxpayer’s time.
Patel co-wrote a book called Britannia Unchained: Global Lessons for Growth and Prosperity. The book imagines the Britain of the future as an economic global leader, with a far-reaching free-market economic plan.
One of the main ways this is achieved, the book explains, is by stripping back employment rights. It even goes as far as to describe British workers as being “among the worst idlers in the world.”
[We] work among the lowest hours, we retire early and our productivity is poor. Indian children aspire to be doctors or businessmen, the British are more interested in football and pop music”
This chilling interpretation of workers’ rights utterly dismisses the fact that India has one of the worst working conditions on earth.
The Indian working week runs from Monday to Saturday, Indian workers only earn a fraction of what Western workers do (even in India) and Indian workers are routinely refused compensation for working overtime.
Our Home Secretary’s celebration of these practises does not bode well for the British worker.
You may think these comments would have made her unfit to be International Trade Secretary in the first place, some bad news.
Johnson’s new Trade Secretary Liz Truss is one of Patel’s co-authors on Britannia Unchained.
Truss served under both David Cameron and Theresa May, under May she became a staunch Brexiter, declaring her passion earlier this year for “British cheese for British people”.
Johnson’s former-leadership rival Jeremy Hunt has also resigned, he had said that he would be happy to stay on as Secretary for Foreign Affairs but was offered Transport or nothing. He opted for nothing.
He will be replaced by perhaps the most well-known Britannia Unchained co-author. Dominic Raab. I have talked about Raab before, his last attempt at frontline diplomacy was when he resigned as Brexit Secretary over a deal he personally negotiated.
With his habit of putting his foot in his mouth, our Foreign Sec will no doubt be making friends overseas in no time.
Raab is also staunchly opposed to the Human Rights Act, which ensures governments adhere to an international standard with regards to human rights when law-making.
What about the other leadership candidates?
Rory Stewart resigned being unable to serve under Boris. Gove was shifted into the role of Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster where he will organise the rent for the parliament buildings and advise Boris.
With Patel in the Home Office, the golden goose goes to her predecessor and Johnson’s fourth-place leadership contender: Sajid Javid who is now the Chancellor of the Exchequer.
The former Deutsche Bank Director has given the public his word that we will leave the EU on the 31st of October. Do or die.
The best performance we’ve seen from Javid was at the BBC Leadership debate, where after taking a hard-line on leaving the EU in October, he made clear that under him the Tory party would have an Inquiry into Islamophobia.
He urged the other four candidates to do the same on Live tv and they did.
This won him support.
Unfortunately for the Conservative party’s Muslim membership, Boris back-tracked on the statements, and Javid, who has said nothing, has just accepted one of the highest offices in his cabinet.
If the web that ties this sinister bunch together is their acceptance of a No Deal Brexit, then Dominic Cummings is the spider.
Cummings, recently portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch in Channel Four’s Brexit: The Uncivil War is the chief strategist credited with convincing Britain to leave the European Union.
Cummings is now the Prime Minister’s special adviser and, contrary to the ordinary parliamentary procedure will be operating out of No.10 directly.
The advisers of every cabinet minister will directly report to the Vote Leave Chief.
Johnson’s “war cabinet” is essentially a hard-Brexit cabinet, coordinated by the very people who lied about colluding with Cambridge Analytica to win the referendum.
It would appear that no matter what transgressions are in your past, or present, you can always find forgiveness from the media at Camp Johnson.
Yes, provided you accept the divine power of a No Deal Brexit into your heart you will be born again into a curious Dickensian London. Beyond the industrial smog and workhouses, you’ll see the remains of the House of Commons and its new Leader Jacob Rees-Mogg Esq, smiling and welcoming you to Brexit Britain.
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